Brunchella

Come for the Brunch, Stay for the "Smocked" Meats Listen, if you find yourself wandering around Carytown questioning your life choices and desperately needing caffeine, let me introduce you to Brunchella. Their menus proudly declare that they will “SATISFY EVERY CRAVING,” and honestly? They aren’t lying. They’ve got everything from French tarts to Mediterranean platters, but the real star of the show is the spelling. Here is a breakdown of my deeply spiritual experience at Brunchella: * **The Artisanal Pork Wardrobe:** You *have* to check out the Add-Ons section. I don't know what kind of tiny, beautifully embroidered linen dresses the pigs in the kitchen are wearing, but the **"3 Smocked Bacon"** ($3.95) and **"Smocked Ham - 1 slice"** ($3.95) are absolute game-changers. Nothing cures a weekend hangover quite like pork dressed in traditional 19th-century needlework. * **The Aggressive Eggs:** If you want your breakfast to sound like a physical threat, look no further than the **"Scramble Me"** ($8.95). It sounds like you're daring the line cook to a parking lot brawl, but what you actually get is a delightful little pile of soft scrambled eggs with caramelized onions on a warm bun. * **Geographical Chaos:** The sheer global ambition of this menu is staggering. It’s like the United Nations decided to host a music festival. In one sitting, you can order a **Greek Burger**, **Migas Tacos**, an **Italian Frittata**, and a **Beirut Plate**. It’s culinary whiplash in the best way possible. * **Breakfast Pizza Justification:** They have a **"Wake-up Pizza Traditional"** ($12.95). It's essentially a pizza crust piled with eggs, sausage, and smocked bacon (presumably). Because why pretend we don't just want cold leftover pizza for breakfast anyway? Brunchella just makes it socially acceptable to eat it in public at 10:00 AM. * **Tech-Bro Beverages:** I washed it all down with a **"Cloud smoothie"** ($5.75). I still don't know what makes it a cloud—maybe the recipe is hosted on an AWS server in California?—but the strawberry, mango, and coconut combo was fantastic. To top it all off, we ordered the **"Brunchella Tower"** ($15.95) because we are adults with disposable income and no self-control. It’s a literal tower of sweet and savory bites, and honestly, it’s the closest I’ll ever get to headlining Coachella. Five stars. Will absolutely be back. Next time, I’m getting the Dubai Treat Cup.

Reading the previous reviews, I was excited to check out this brunch spot. Not sure if it was just an "off" day for the restaurant, but went with a friend for a relaxing brunch on a Saturday and was surprised to find that the place was not at all busy. Then proceeded to wait a full hour before getting the buzz to come pick up our cafeteria trays of super disappointing food--- a tiny cold breakfast burrito with a handful of blueberries and chopped mealy apple (fruit bowl?? that was $1.50 extra) and the flavorless falafel wrap. We had to actually laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. The ambience was also pretty awful with the stark fluorescent lighting, lackluster decor, and echoes of my fellow customers complaining loudly about the wait and poor quality of food. So disappointed.

Great food, coffee, and the pastries look delicious. Excellent place to hang out and read or do homework since it’s so close to VCU. Go check it out.

I will come back again and again 😍😍

Their coffee is sooo delicious